Winchester Christmases
by Giacinta
Summary: Dean wants their first Christmas in the bunker to be a memorable one, Sammy not so much. I didn't intend writing a sequel to this but as it was proposed, I have. Hope you like. :)
1. Chapter 1

Winchester Christmases

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dean studied the room, asking himself where the best place to stick the tree would be. Nothing too fancy, just a medium-sized pine, but Christmas would soon be here and now that the Winchesters had a place to call their own, why not go down the traditional route complete with the all the trimmings, like normal families did.

"What'cha say, Sammy? Over there's the best place to put it, so when we come in out of the cold, it's the first thing we see," he declared enthusiastically, pointing to the corner diagonally opposite the staircase.

Sam shuffled around on the chair, apparently engrossed in his reading and his low unenthusiastic murmur of "Whatever, Dean, Knock yourself out," fell heavily on the older brother's ears, causing him to turn and cock his head speculatively at his younger sibling.

"A little seasonal cheer here, Sammy! You look as if I just proposed we hang, draw and quarter each other, instead of arranging a cosy Christmas Day!"

Sam gave him a quick glance, huffed and averted his eyes. "Sorry Dean. It's...just... well, I've never really been into all this Christmas stuff, and I don't think I ever will, but," he added raising his left hand in a sign of assent."if you're good with it then I am too."

x

"Seriously, Sam. I sometimes wonder about you. You're the one who always wanted normal, and what could be more normal that a place of our own, a tree with a coupla gifts underneath and a Christmas dinner; dinner which by the way, _**I'm**_ volunteering to cook and present to your lazy relaxed ass on the big day. Man this is 'bout as normal as you can get," Dean finished off, exasperated by his brother's lukewarm response.

x

"You're right, Dean. I'm... a moron, just ignore me. Count me in on the Christmas bandwagon. Tell me what you want me to do and I'll wade right in," Sam volunteered, giving Dean his full attention.

He felt like a dick, pissing on Dean's exuberance, but he honestly didn't get the whole Christmas spirit thing. It was just one of the many holidays that had either been ignored by dad when they were kids, or been crappy all round. It certainly didn't bring back any happy memories for him.

Dean, on the other hand, had always had a thing for Christmas, and had done his best to make young Sam's as nice he could with the 'nothing' they possessed back then, even going to the lengths of stealing presents for him, often with bizarre results.

He felt a smile coming to his face as he remembered unwrapping such gifts and finding a Barbie and a magic wand.

Dean noticed the smile tugging at Sam's lips and quickly jumped in. "Well, man, there must be**_ something_** good about Christmas despite all your bitching, for a smile usually means that you got at least one good memory. Can I ask what this unicorn was, or is that delving too much into Sam Winchester's privacy?"

x

"So I can't smile now without you reading hidden meanings into it, Dean? What if I was thinking of something else entirely?" Sam declared good-humouredly enough.

"Na, that was a positive Christmas thought, so are you gonna share or not?" Dean smirked, certain to have caught his little brother out.

Sam went to open his mouth and comply when he stopped abruptly; that particular Christmas Day presented too many other implications, and to remind Dean about it meant involving the amulet he had given to his brother all those years ago, and which Dean had thrown away.

He didn't want to rake up the past, not right now when Dean was so enthusiastic about this Christmas stuff.

"Um.. Yeah, I suppose I do have one good memory about Christmas but it's...uh...in the past and that's where it should stay. No point in bringing it up now. You know what? Let's go all out on Christmas this year, Dean," Sam said, changing the subject and pushing back his chair.

"Why don't I go out for supplies? You said we were running low. I'll get decorations and trimmings for the tree too."

x

"Hey," Dean replied, reaching out an arm and grasping Sam's in a vice-like grip.

"There's no way you're gonna get off so lightly. You've got me curious about your happy moment, so spill, dude! If it's happy, how _**bad **_can it be? Sometimes you're so confusing, bro. There should have been a hand-book handed out on 'Deciphering Sammy' along with you when you were born. Good job I pick up your tells just the same, even without one!"

"Come on Dean. It's nothing!" Sam repeated as Dean's eyes bored into him, waiting for him to speak.

"Okay, if you must know, I was thinking about the time you stole Christmas presents for me and they turned out to be girly stuff like dolls. So, let go of me, okay." Sam bitched, pulling his arm away as he felt Dean's grip lessen.

"There, that wasn't so hard now, was it?" Dean smirked. "Yeah, I remember that. I broke into this fancy house and stole a couple from under the huge tree. I can still remember your expression when you opened them! You know, maybe I didn't make such a bad mistake after all; sometimes you do act like a prissy princess, Sammy!"

"Whatever," was Sam's curt reply as he made a bee-line for the door. He had to get out, the thought of the amulet had brought back too many memories that were definitely not of the Christmas cheer kind.

"Just where are you running off to?" Dean asked, watching Sam scoot up the stairs as if a Wendigo was on his tail.

"I told you, Dean. we need supplies."

"No we don't; we've got everything we need."

"Okay then. I need some fresh air. Being cooped up in here for hours on end preys on you."

x

"I know why you're running Sam, but you don't have to. Come on down," Dean said unexpectedly.

Sam hesitated, hand gripping the rail, undecided whether to go or stay; if Dean said something hurtful to him right now, he just wouldn't be able to take it.

"Sammy, please come back," Dean repeated softly.

"There's something I've been meaning to say for ages but I never found the right moment. I remember what else happened that Christmas, you gave me a gift and when I tore away the paper, I thought that ugly ass bit of metal was the most beautiful thing on the planet. I loved it, but you know what, it wasn't just the amulet in itself, but the fact that _**you **_gave it to me. It made me feel that we had made some kind of vow, a bond of brothers; that we would share everything and always be there for each other.

When I threw it away, I knew exactly what I was doing. I was pissed at you, at everybody, at all the Apocalypse crap,... but Sammy as soon as I did, I regretted it; I was just too proud to fish it back out. I'm sorry Sam. If I could go back and change things, I would do it in a second.

I miss that little horned dude hanging round my neck and I'll never forgive myself for hurting you, when I threw it away.

So you don't have to be afraid of your memory. It was a great one and it was a great one for me too," Dean finished sincerely.

X

"Dean.."

"No, don't say anything, Sammy. There's nothing to add. I said what I had to and I meant every word, so if we gotta go and get supplies, we're going together, cause if I know you, and I _**do**_; you're liable to go off and mope for days in some shitty motel room, blaming yourself for every goddam thing you can cook up.

It's Christmas, Sammy. Only positive thoughts are gonna be allowed in this bunker, and in the Impala too, so buckle up and smile!"

Despite himself Sam felt his angsty mood lifting. Dean was right. The past was filled with good and bad, but it was Christmas, and what if he didn't get the Christmas spirit; it was important to Dean. They had done the most extreme things for each other; a little Xmas cheer for the brother he loved, couldn't be such a big sacrifice.

He turned and locked eyes with Dean. "I'll wait in the car then, and we can go do all the Christmassy stuff you want."

"That's my boy," Dean shot back with a shit-eating grin. "And you know what, I'm gonna buy a Barbie and sit her up on the top of the tree, just to remind you how girlie you really are!"

When Sam threw him the bitchiest of faces in his ample repertoire, Dean understood that this Christmas, might just turn out to be the best one ever.

X

x

A tall figure crept soundlessly into the library and placed a small square box underneath the sparkling tree.

Tomorrow was Christmas Day and so much had happened since the day two young boys had exchanged gifts in a shabby motel room, yet here they were, still together, still butting heads, still hunting, still too bound to each other to contemplate separate lives.

Sam pushed any negative thoughts from his mind. He vowed that tomorrow he would do his damnest to make their first **real** Christmas together, the best ever.

He wanted to see his brother's jaw ache from all the smiling and laughter Sam would provoke.

Satisfied, he padded back to bed and fell into a dreamless sleep, which for Sam Winchester was a little Christmas miracle all of its own.

X

The end


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two.

Christmas Day.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

As in the most clichéd of Christmas stories, the snow had been falling heavily all night outside the massive castle-like walls of the bunker, making it stand out against the flat Kansas country-side like a sore thumb, seemingly isolating it and its inhabitants from the rest of the world.

That in no way preoccupied the two men who lived there, for their world revolved around each other.

It always had since the second of May nineteen eighty-three; it had continued to do so despite their numerous deaths and resurrections, and would probably persist until the day Death decided they had caused him and Creation enough trouble, and made their demise permanent!

x

Dean awoke to the utter silence around him, broken only by the gentle snores of his brother coming from the room opposite. Dean had a clear view from his bed through the door and across the corridor into Sam's room, just as Sam had a clear view of his. Too many years of sleeping less than a hand's span from each other had made the habit difficult to break, so this arrangement of leaving their doors open, just in case, had been the next best thing.

They were grown men after all, they didn't have to sleep in the same room to feel safe any more! Well that's what they told themselves anyway, Dean mused as he padded to the bathroom.

x

He spent a moment examining his face in the mirror.

He was thirty-four now, at least linear-wise if you didn't factor in all the dying and hell crap, and he could see the little lines forming at the corner of his eyes. He knew he had been blessed with above average good-looks, which he'd used many times to get what he wanted and needed.

"Huh," he grunted as he finished his perusal; other than the faint lines, he couldn't complain. He was still the same awesome Dean Winchester!

Having attended to his needs, he pulled on an old tee-shirt and a pair of jeans and made a bee-line for the kitchen. He'd told Sam he'd cook the Christmas dinner, so it was time to start.

Dean had always been the one to look after his little brother from when Gigantor was just a snotty nosed kid, and though he had done it happily enough, he had been given no real choice.

Dad had ordered him to look out for Sam and he'd done it to the best of his ability, growing to love his role as a big brother, but now he had discovered a talent for cooking; pottering about in the kitchen calmed him and gave him pleasure.

x

By the time Sam wandered in, mussed hair making him look like a bean-pole with a wig, Dean had everything set up, including freshly made coffee, its fragrant aroma, pulling Sam forward like the pied piper's tune.

"God, that coffee smells good, Dean," Sam said as he poured himself a large cup.

"Yeah, don't say I don't treat you well, Sasquatch. I bought the best quality Arabic blend seeing as it's Christmas!"

"Worth every cent!" Sam declared, a blissful expression on his face as he sipped the hot black liquid.

"Okay, take your cup and go!" Dean ordered."An artist like myself can't have any distractions when he's creating."

"Huh?" Sam answered, not quite getting it, the great night's sleep leaving him still drowsy.

"I said _**go, **_and I don't want to see your dorky face until dinner's ready. Go translate some interesting dead language or something," Dean said, bundling his little brother out of the kitchen.

"And don't open the presents. That's for after dinner," he cautioned as Sam ambled off obediently into the library.

X

Sam sat back in the seat, trying to get comfortable. The chairs around the big table were suitable for doing research but not exactly relaxing, but then Sam had attended to that.

He had a surprise for Dean. It had been really awkward to get it into the bunker and keep it hidden in one of the store rooms until today, but Sam knew it would be worth it just to see the expression on his brother's face when he saw it.

He yawned into his cup.

Last night he had slept better than he ever remembered. Maybe this would turn out to be a great Christmas after all, and make Sam Winchester revise his opinion on said holiday.

x

His eye was caught by the little package he had placed under the tree last night. He wondered if he had done the right thing in putting it there. Maybe he should just take it back and hide it away again. What if Dean didn't really want it back?

On the merely practical side, Dean had complained more than once that it got in his face when he was fighting, and put his shit-eating toothy smile in danger, but he had never taken it off; only when Castiel had insisted on having it to search out God, had he reluctantly given it away; that is until their little visit to heaven of course.

He nursed his coffee debating the issue, but he decided to leave it where it was. It was up to Dean to accept or refuse it now.

X

Dean had done himself proud, the table had been set as a Christmas table should, and the food had been fabulous.

"God, Dean," Sam mumbled holding his stomach. "You definitely missed your vocation. You could have been one of those stuck-up chefs that earn millions sprouting their crap on TV. It would have been a lot less dangerous than hunting."

"Yeah well, maybe in another life," Dean answered nonchalantly, though secretly pleased by the compliments his little brother was giving him on his cooking abilities. "Though cooking would have been the last career choice I'd have considered. If things with mom and dad had gone down differently, I'd probably have ended up being a mechanic."

"You don't know that, Dean." Sam smiled. "Could be I became a big-ass lawyer and you a big-ass chef.!"

"Yeah, well we'll never know; we're as far from a chef and a lawyer as you can get, but what the hell we're the two greatest hunters on the planet, so that must count for something too, bro!" Dean remarked with a touch of pride, holding up his wine glass to make a toast.

Sam didn't reply, a lump had come to his throat thinking of how life could have been different for them both; but this is what they had and somehow he had come to terms with it. He and Dean, together, here. It felt right.

X

He pushed away his maudlin thoughts and stood up, rather shakily to tell the truth, as Sam had drunk copiously of the bottles of wine Dean had brought to the table.

"It's time for the Christmas presents, Dean," Sam grinned,the alcohol in his system making him feel **_very_** Christmassy.

"Who's gonna go first?" Dean smirked, slurring his words a little. He hadn't spared the wine either.

Sam couldn't contain himself any longer. "Me! Come on Dean. You're gonna have to give me a hand here." He got up and dragged his brother to one of the store rooms.

"What the hell, Sammy. I thought presents were supposed to go under the tree, not back here."

"Just wait. You're gonna love this," Sam countered as he threw open the door and glanced at Dean's face to see his reaction.

"Oh, man," Dean said awed, as he contemplated the couch sitting in the middle of the room; going forward and throwing himself down on its soft cushions.

"Sammy, you crafty little geek. How did you manage to sneak this by me?"

"Huh, with a lot of sweat, muscle power and effort, Dean!" Sam answered. "Do you like?"

"I likey a lot, bro." Dean grinned as he pulled his feet up and on to the couch. "I might just bunk down right here for the rest of the day."

"What!...No Dean! Get your ass off it and give me a hand to take it into the library."

"Aw, Sammy. Come on. We can do that later."

But Sam wheedled and bitched until they settled the couch in front of the Christmas tree.

x

"Now it's my turn," Dean said, contemplating how things sometimes come together so seamlessly.

Just like Sam had done earlier, even though he had bitched about it, he dragged his brother to another of the store-rooms where a large object stood draped in a sheet.

"Here Sasquatch. This is for you, and maybe for me too," he announced."Go on, unwrap."

Sam did, and underneath was a giant-sized TV. "Wow," Sam said admiring it.

"It's a smart one," Dean added. "Just like my little bro. You can do just about everything on it bar sex!"

"Dean," Sam answered prissily.

Dean rolled his eyes.

When Sam had been soulless he had gone through more women than he could count, but he wasn't going to remind his little brother of that bad period of his life; not today anyway!

"Thanks man," Sam was saying. "It pairs up great with the couch."

It was late afternoon by the time they arranged everything to their satisfaction and turned their attention to the couple of things under the tree.

x

Dean had bought a load of DVD's that he knew Sam would like and an enormous jar of peanut butter for his favourite sandwiches, while Sam had bought Dean a range of products to beauty up the Impala, plus a cache of tapes he had found in a second-hand shop to replace some of the ones worn out or lost.

Eventually there was only one small package left. "It's for you Dean," Sam said hesitantly as his brother bent to pick it up.

He waited silently while Dean tore open the paper, ready to accept whatever decision Dean took on its fate. If he wanted to throw it away again, Sam wouldn't object. It was Dean's after all; his to do with as he wished.

Dean opened the package and took the charm in his hand. It was the last thing he had been expecting to see, convinced that it had been lost to him forever.

"You fished it out, then," he murmured awed.

"Yeah," Sam replied softly. "I couldn't let it lie there. . I... didn't know if I could ever summon up the courage to give it back to you, but when you said those things yesterday...I … thought you might still want it."

Without answering, Dean widened the leather cord and placed the amulet round his neck. It fell into place on his chest as if it had never been gone; its comforting weight solid and real, an eternal reminder of the bond that held him and Sam together and which he could no longer deny or brush off as ridiculous.

There was no-one on this Earth or beyond, that he loved and cherished more than Sam, and he knew, despite the failed attempts Sam had made to change what was written, believing that life could be different for them both, that Sam felt exactly the same.

They were each other's weak spot while contemporaneously being each other's strong spot too.

x

Ash had let slip that they were soul-mates, and Dean believed it. There was no other explanation for all they had done and were still prepared to do for each other.

"Thank you Sam. I love it," he said eventually, mirroring those long ago words.

Sam's lips curled up into the smile he kept solely for his brother, the one where he bared his soul and let all his love shine through, almost blinding Dean with its intensity.

He drew his little brother into his arms.

He would never let go, and the thought that wherever they went after their earthly life was done, they would still be bound together, made his heart beat with joy.

He pulled back, smiled and led Sam to the couch. They sat side by side, shoulders brushing, eating peanut butter sandwiches and watching TV, wondering if anyone this Christmas was as happy as the Winchester brothers.

X

The enD


End file.
